Mrs. McDonald's murder mystery

Daisy- Radio Artist1
Mickey -Radio Artist2
Mrs. McDonald -An old lady
Louis -Mrs. McDonald’s nephew
Dewey -Mrs. McDonald’s butler
Huey -Mrs. McDonald’s son

Mickey: This play is never going to get complete.

Daisy: Not if you keep whining like a 3 year old who hasn’t got his Christmas present.

Mickey: But just look at what we have written till now. Its so run of the mill…lovely Mrs. McDonald, a kind, old lady [Mrs. McDonald enters and sits on a chair], very nice and sociable…

[Louis enters]

Louis: Hello auntie, how is your arthritis?

Mrs. McDonald: Hello my son…nice to see you around. What can you expect from an old lady, they are painful as ever. Its just the old age, I guess. Let me have Dewey fetch you some tea.

[Dewey enters]

Dewey: Did you call me, madam?

[Mrs. McDonald raises her hand]

Mrs. McDonald: Yes, could you please….

Mickey: This is supposed to be a radio play and just look at these silly dialogues, “Did you call me, madam”, its so 1950ish!

Daisy: Its not the dialogue which worry me. It’s the lame plot you thought of.
[In the mean time, the butler and the nephew vanish, Mrs. McDonald lowers her head]
What a silly way to be murdered. And by the way, who can imagine that a sweet, old lady can…..

[Mrs. McDonald screams and puts her head down. Her son and the butler rush into the room]

Dewey: Murder most foul!

Huey: Mother who could’ve done this?

Daisy: Rubbish! It sounds like he is asking his mother who killed her. Just listen to your plot, a scream is heard, Mrs. McDonald found slouching on her chair, very puzzled and confused. Son, nephew and the butler, each have a motive – the butler doesn’t like the old lady for having paid him so poorly, the nephew has an old family score to settle and the son of course, has a lot to inherit. So who do you think poisons old Mrs. McDonald’s tea?

[Mrs. McDonald rises and screams]

Mrs. McDonald: What do you playwrights think of yourself? She is right. Your play is pathetic but see what you’ve written about us. Just because we are characters in your imagination doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. You have made my nephew real smart, my son stupid and what do you think of me, I’d fall for the old ‘poisoned tea trick’. For your information, I have my husband sip my tea before I drink it. And call me an old lady once again and you had it, mister.

Mickey: I rather had a strange thought. Its as if the characters are talking in my head.

Daisy: [all tired] Yes Mickey, I always expected that you heard voices.

[Dewey enters]

Dewey: Madam, this is highly inappropriate.

Mrs. McDonald: Shut your stiff upper lip. I knew from the day you came that I was paying you too much.

Dewey: Right-ho, madam. [and leaves making a face]

[Son enters]

Huey: Mother, aren’t you supposed to be dead. For once, can you stick to the script?

Mrs. McDonald: You miserable creature, wag that tongue once more and I’ll cut it off like I have, your heritage. My little gets it all. So much for your motive, eh?

Huey: You deserve what’s coming to you, you old bat! [he leaves]

Louis: Auntie! Thank God you are alive! I thought…[begins to stammer]

Mrs. McDonald: Oh shut up. Just like your father, can’t say a sentence straight.

Luis: Auntie, don’t talk about my father that way.

Mrs. McDonald: Run away, you little brat. I’ve given you motive enough now.

[She turns to writers] And I haven’t finished with you, you sorry bunch. What a miserable plot! What a clichéd play! If I had written a play then I would have…[holds her head, wobbles and sinks into the chair]

Mickey: Daisy, I just had strangest thoughts about the play, in my head. Its like all the characters were talking to me. And the plot seemed so good. But I still didn’t understand who actually poisoned her tea.

Daisy: [throws back her head and laughs] I did, you silly! I felt she was talking too much.